Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist-

I’m considering taking up a new hobby, but I’m overwhelmed with all the options. How do I choose?

Sincerely,
Hobbies Anonymous

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Dear Hobbies Anonymous,

Just pick one at random. Maybe knitting, or origami, or starting a YouTube channel about absolutely nothing. The key here is to never finish anything, just keep starting new hobbies and immediately abandon them. You’ll have dozens of half-completed projects cluttering your house—a true sign of success. Why choose? Do everything and nothing at the same time! Eventually, you’ll lose interest, which will make your hobby choices feel much more like “finding yourself.” Or, you know, just binge-watch Netflix and call that your hobby. Who needs actual skills anyway?

Go wild,
The Unwanted Advice Columnist
(Hobbies are overrated.)