Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist-

I can’t stop binge-watching Netflix. It’s really affecting my productivity, and I know I should be doing something more constructive. How do I stop?

Sincerely,
Stuck in a Streaming Spiral

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Dear Streaming Spiral,

Have you considered, instead of watching shows, reading a book? You know, the kind made out of paper and not pixels. It’s like Netflix, but with fewer explosions and plot twists—just real life. Maybe try going outside for a walk? Or, hear me out, meditate for five minutes—yes, five, because let’s be honest, you probably won’t even last that long.

Best of luck,
The Unwanted Advice Columnist
(P.S. You’re welcome.)