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The Unwanted Advice Column

Stuck in a Streaming Spiral

Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist-
I can’t stop binge-watching Netflix. It’s really affecting my productivity, and I know I should be doing something more constructive. How do I stop?
Sincerely,
Stuck in a Streaming Spiral

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The Unwanted Advice Column

Hobbies Anonymous

Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist-
I’m considering taking up a new hobby, but I’m overwhelmed with all the options. How do I choose?
Sincerely,
Hobbies Anonymous

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The Unwanted Advice Column

Waiting for My Big Break

Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist-
I feel like everyone around me is accomplishing big things, and I’m just stuck. What’s the secret to being successful?
Sincerely,
Waiting for My Big Break

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See What Happens When People Actually Take Our Advice

I asked if I should continue trying to make it as a musician or get a ‘real job,’ and I was hit with a treatise on ‘the journey of self-actualization through sound.’ Now I’m experimenting with ambient noise in my living room like I’m creating some kind of avant-garde masterpiece. Honestly, I don’t know what happened to my life, but my neighbors are definitely concerned.

Kyle, Musician

I wasn’t sure if I should buy a new car or keep fixing my old one, and the response I got was about ‘emotional attachment to material possessions.’ For the next two weeks, I found myself staring at my rusty old truck like it was my soulmate. If it had a counseling session, we’d both be in therapy right now. The advice wasn’t helpful, but it sure was… reflective.

Greg, Mechanic

I was just looking for tips on how to handle a tough negotiation with a client, but the advice column hit me with a whole sermon on ‘emotional intelligence’ and ‘honoring your inner self.’ Now I’m not sure if I’m supposed to close the deal or have a heart-to-heart with the buyer about their childhood trauma. It’s… complicated.

Amber, Real Estate Agent

Honestly, I wouldn't take this advice if I were you.

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