Dear Unwanted Advice Columnist –

I’ve been texting someone for a while, but I’m not sure if I should ask them to hang out in person. We’ve never met face-to-face, and I’m not sure if it would be weird. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Texting and Uncertain

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Dear Texting and Uncertain –

You could ask them to meet in person, but what if they’re actually a secret agent? Or a catfish with a lot of free time and a deep understanding of Photoshop? You should probably just keep texting. Maybe invest in some emojis to make it less awkward. Or, here’s a radical idea: actually pick up the phone and call them. Imagine that! A real human voice! I’m sure that won’t make anyone uncomfortable. Worst case, you both go back to texting. So, in conclusion: don’t ask. Just keep texting. It’s safer.

Yours skeptically,
The Unwanted Advice Columnist
(You’re welcome again.)